It has directed so much of my life, including things like where I got married (no beach – wheelchairs don’t roll well in sand) and what kind of house I bought (no raised foundation – wheelchairs don’t climb stairs well). I can see that so much of my quest for healing, helping others discover and appreciate their health, and my own self-acceptance has stemmed from how I feel about my dad, our family dynamic, and navigating the world with a disabled family member. I realized that I could be of service and that what I have learned over the years, and continue to learn, might help somebody else feel less alone. The whole hot mess of feelings that come when you are hit with a major event. I have even had a few friends go through a major life event with their parents and I could see in their eyes what I went through at age 19- fear, confusing, feeling suddenly marginalized, hopeful, angry – all of it. What can I give to the world and how can I be a conduit of light? What does it look like if I am really brave – what comes forth? For several years now, but especially in the past few months, that inner voice has been whispering to me to have the courage to tell my story. In my private journaling, prayer, and meditation, I ask the universe how I can be of service. While it may seem very non-sequitur to the health and wellness endeavor I spend years on, it was actually the seed that started it all to begin with. Moving forward I’m directing my energy to writing about my experience with my father’s disability and what it is like having lived the last 20 years with a parent in a wheelchair with limited capacity. When I really dig deep, I mean really deep, I am called to share my experience and wisdom about something that has been much more profound in my life than even wellness, kale, and yoga (can you imagine?). When I came back to it a couple months ago my intentions were in the right place, but my sense of purpose was not aligned with the focus of this blog. I decided to put OffwhiteLiving to rest for good. So big, in fact, I literally halted my yoga practice to get out my computer and write this.
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